[Main Blog Post] First Two "All Father" Drafts

[jprussell]

Alright, after a lot of poetic stagnation, I've pulled two drafts of an "All Father" prayer for the Heathen Rosary out of, well, somewhere (let's hope it's from the mead that made it to Asgard, and not that which was "lost" upon the way!). Even more than usual, I'd very much appreciate your thoughts on these, as I can tell neither is "there" yet, but in working out the "Hail Idun," your input was invaluable.

Oh, and I also realized I hadn't posted my "Tree Creed" which I've been using in my daily prayer for nearly a year now, so I've put that in here too.

Again, thoughts very much welcome!

Comments

And a rough translation of the last Hail Idun ;-)

[k_a_nitz]

Heil Idun,
Samen Yggdrasils,
Gutsprechendes Weib von Dichtkunst,
In gesegneten Blumen umkränzt.

Heilige Idun,
Eröffne unser Herz
Mit Biers teuerstem Getrank
Zum Erwachen des ewigen Lebens.

Re: And a rough translation of the last Hail Idun ;-)

[jprussell]

Please take this as applying to all of your translations, but to avoid too much repetition: thank you for these!

Did you just go for a straight "sense translation," or did you try to do anything poetic with them? At first glance it doesn't jump out at me, but I will admit I have not tried to parse things like alliteration or meter.

Also, I wonder: did you notice whether these were any easier to translate than "regular" English? I did my best to write them wholly in Germanic-root words, and I wonder if that had any effect on translating into a cousin language.

Cheers,
Jeff

Re: And a rough translation of the last Hail Idun ;-)

[k_a_nitz]

I initially went for a straight sense one, though there was enough there that I could see potential for pushing the alliteration (though I'm not familiar with Skaldic meters) - ie. Hell mit Heiligkeit wird unser Herz [Bright with holiness  our hearts become].
And there is also a preponderance of H and W (mirroring the original!) in:
Heilwillig wandten wir unser Herz vorwärts [Hallowward we have  our hearts fore-turned]
(Heilwillig was coined for Hallowward)

Troth took me a bit of thought, and I ended up with Pfand (pledge)

I definitely enjoyed it as a quick exercise.

Re: And a rough translation of the last Hail Idun ;-)

[jprussell]

Ah, interesting, thank you! If you'd like a quick guide to various Germanic metres adapted to Modern English (and so, presumably most of the way to adapted to modern German), I summarized what I learned from Eirik Westcoat's Viking Poetry for Heathen Rites here: https://jpowellrussell.com/#rules_of_germanish_meter

Should you ever decide to play around with it, the somewhat simplified rules are basically about number of stressed syllables and which syllables should (and shouldn't) alliterate. One caution that I reckon is even more important in German than English - note that the alliteration goes on the stressed syllable, and prefixes are usually unstressed (for example, in "unstressed", the stress goes on "stress" :)). Of course, you can play around with this is you're willing to have some poetical affectation.

Re: And a rough translation of the last Hail Idun ;-)

[k_a_nitz]

Thanks, that I may well do - though it will have to wait as today I'm planting roses and the next two days I'm bottling beer and brewing some more :-)

Re: And a rough translation of the last Hail Idun ;-)

[jprussell]

Sounds like a better use of your time all-around to me, so I certainly can't blame you!