[Main Blog Post] Thoughts on My 38th Year

This time, I'm going to try mirroring the full post here as well.

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Today is my birthday, so I'm going to go ahead and take one of my "steadholders"
for the year. I had hoped to get a new take on the Hail Idun prayer in
Germanish meter, but my first few drafts aren't doing it for me, and since
it will be the beating heart of the Heathen Rosary, I want to get it right.
Instead, a few things I've been thinking about:

• 38 truly feels a lot closer to 40 than 37, but even that was "not my 'mid-thirties' anymore." I've always sought to not get too hung up on youth and my age, and to know and accept my own looming death, but it didn't fully hit me until 2018 when my mother passed away and my first daughter was born within a couple of months of each other. That was one hell of a shot of
  "you're only one step in the ongoing march of life" all at once.


• My older daughter is doing her bit to make me feel the full weight of growing older. Yesterday, she asked me "Daddy, are you an old man?" and I said "no, not yet, but I'm on my way there." So, she said "will you be an old man tomorrow?" and again "no, not just yet." "Well, when will you be an old man?" "Not for a while, honey."


• More earnestly, my deepening spiritual work has been a big help with acknowledging and dealing with my feelings about getting older. I truly don't know where I'd be had the last few years gone otherwise. These days, my only regret is that I didn't find this path sooner, but I keep telling myself it's not a race, there's no prize for "doing more," it's not about what's at the end of the path, it's all about walking it.

With that said, I put forth my blessings to you and hope the coming year treats
you wonderfully.