Jeff Russell

Jeff,

Wow! I'm impressed - happy to give you the practice but it seems like you've already had quite a bit of that.

So, as far as Isa goes (btw, did you know that Isa is also the Arabic name for Jesus? In that light, your notions of letting something die and be reborn are rather interesting...) I have indeed been isolated. It seems to me the whole backdrop of this reading is my recently-begun affiliation with the Thelemic order A.'.A.'.: I began my Probationer year back in January, precisely when I moved down here. I did so with the idea of getting some proper solitude, "peace and quiet", so to speak, thinking it'd be more congenial to my Work; but as soon as I settled in I've been stricken with, and haven't been able to shake, the feeling of really not belonging here at all. I'm a musician, and I find myself really sorely missing the professional caliber of my colleagues back in NYC, a city and a scene which I thought I hated and had had enough of. But this year so far has been teaching me to more fully accept what a crucial part not only the music plays in my Will, but the lifestyle of musicians in the New York scene - namely touring, sort of Wandering through the world (a slowly growing relationship with Wotan, the Wanderer, and Mercury too would seem pretty in line with this), quite in contrast with the more grounded and easy living so prominent down here in the South. Plus, a lot of the mundane problems I thought I'd be escaping by leaving NYC seem to have followed me faithfully down here, meaning they have much more to do with me than with any particular setting. So, it seems to me the part of me which Isa says must "die" is the part seeking out comfort, seeking on some level to run from the difficulties which come with my Will - and the part that is still generating these troubles I thought to escape.

Since moving would symbolize an acceptance of this Will and a continuity of the A.'.A.'. Work, the "spiritual awakening" element you mentioned is rather on the ball. The spot I have my eye on, too, is very well situated for this: small, almost monastic, but with just room enough for both a music practice and a magick practice. It's not in the city proper, and so retains some element of seclusion and quietude favorable for magick practice, but it's close enough that I can get in and out with ease and at relatively small expense.

Since the Thelemic current is a Solar one, the final card is quite fitting. In addition, the apartment is so sparse that it won't lend itself to feeling like a permanent or solid "home" - more like a simple base of operations, where I also happen to sleep and eat. Part of the Will I've been learning to accept seems to involve an acceptance of this idea - that, stressful or no, I feel most at home when *not* at home, when I am simply passing through, whence the appeal of touring. I think, given this, the element of transience (rather like the transience of the Sun itself) which both you and JMG touched on makes perfect sense.

Thanks again - I often feel so invested in this that it's hard to trust my own readings on the subject. I'm predictably elated to see what the Runes had to say about the matter. Much appreciated, Jeff!