Jeff Russell

Thanks for this, appreciate the reading! Much to chew on here. Interesting that you use an upright/reverse system (like the names for them, btw). I've been wondering whether I should do the same, even if most of the sources I've seen don't seem to do so. It does add a good sense of balance and more meanings to the palette.

Since you did ask, I'm happy to share some thoughts on the interpretation. Like most people, I have a bad habit of getting too verbose once I start talking about myself, so I'll try not to bog you down with too much detail.

First off, the program in question is for a teaching degree. Specifically grades 5-10 in our system, which should be roughly equivalent to the American ones. The ambivalence comes from the fact that I had a miserable time during much of my own tenure in public school, and I don't relish the idea of representing that system and forcing students who really shouldn't have to be there to conform to it anyway. Then there's how the school system is a sort of "ground zero" for socializing young people into thinking many of the absurd and dysfunctional things we do in industrial civilization are good and normal. As another long-time JMG reader, I know you know how that works.

I've settled on two important long-term goals for this incarnation: becoming a published fiction writer, including fiction for younger readers, and becoming a foster parent. Getting into teaching would obviously have direct bearing on both goals.

For the reading as a whole, Mannaz and Tiwaz make a lot of sense to me here. I'm a little more uncertain about Kenaz. It does actually fit rather well with my own interpretation of Kenaz, which is more based on Groa Sheffield's reading of the rune poem as "pale, otherworldly fire/grave mound/dwarves/the dead", and which I've extrapolated to a meaning of "liminal meeting ground, temporary crossroads" (see the shape of the rune itself too). That is, I'm at a point where I need to make a choice, and to get out of the liminal, in-between stasis I've been in for a while.

Still, this is your reading, not mine, and I'm not sure it's helpful or appropriate to try to overlay my meanings on it. So working with your take on Kenaz, I think it might point to my need for an outlet for creativity and willpower, to use it to change myself and ideally to do something halfway meaningful for other people.

While I'm comfortable in my own company, I'm not a misanthrope. Deep down I do appreciate people a lot, and for various reasons I've become more of a loner than I really want to be over the last few years. One of the things I wanted out of this program was to be forced to interact more with a variety of people and get more out into the world again, and I take the appearance of Mannaz as a sign that I'll probably get this wish if I do it. On another level, helping young people develop their intellect and potential (and humanity?) is of course the ideal of the teaching profession, and a worthwhile goal. I'm a bit tired of only doing things for myself, and this reading might say this is indeed one of the remedies I seek for that condition.

Again, the Tiwaz rune here seems pretty clear to me. Doing this will take a lot of work, both in terms of facing a bunch of demanding young school inmates and going back to do more academic writing, which I hated the last time around. It'll also force me to adjust myself more to other people and institutions and their rhytmhs, meaning I'll have to give up some of the freedom I have now. That's fair, since that freedom is probably unsustainable and undesirable anyway long-term. I want a firmer position in life, more stability and security, and doing this might get me there. I'll also have to face some of my prejudices against the school system, as well as all the things it does that I genuinely think are harmful. Maybe I need to know the system from the inside to really fight the negative aspects of it? That would also be a Tyr-like discipline and sacrifice thing, I think.

There's also another interpretation, even if it might be wishful thinking: by following this course I might be able to help some young people find justice in the face of a system that doesn't work for them, as it often didn't work for me. Ideally I'd want to do something like support homeschoolers or alternative education like Waldorf, so maybe I can get there after some time in the public system.

Hopefully that's not oversharing too much, but there you have some of the context. Again, thank you for the reading, and overall it seems on-point. I was already leaning towards applying for the program, if nothing else because I don't have too many other good options, but this is another useful point to consider.