A very informative and enjoyable read, if I may say so!
This topic, the notion of non-clinical narcissism, is something I've thought about a lot over the years. What you describe I've conceptualized as "the egocentricity spectrum." I do think these mental states and resulting behaviors fall on a rather wide spectrum, and as you say, everyone has it to some degree, even if in a minute amount. I personally think this casual narcissism is an evolutionary trait that helps us avoid constantly slipping into a state of existential despair, and thus have a much better chance of survival in this very weird and unpredictable world. Unfortunately in many cases this "narcissism" goes beyond a manageable level and gets out of hand, resulting in pathological levels of crude selfishness and solipsism.
Don't say "I want to be more secure in myself", instead say "here's how my deeds stack up to an outside, measurable standard."
That sparked a good list of items for me, thank you!
Another thing that fosters self-centeredness in America is the way our neighborhoods are laid out and what is viewed as a good place to raise children. I had a childhood that was The American Dream(tm) but it was pretty nightmarish. The isolation of a child in a suburban home, unable to go anywhere on their own, leads to a deep loneliness. I tried having imaginary friends (Maybe zonking out in front of a screen is more common these days). "Of course my life is about me. I'm the only one who talks to me after I get home from school and my parents turn on the TV." That kind of thing.
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This topic, the notion of non-clinical narcissism, is something I've thought about a lot over the years. What you describe I've conceptualized as "the egocentricity spectrum." I do think these mental states and resulting behaviors fall on a rather wide spectrum, and as you say, everyone has it to some degree, even if in a minute amount. I personally think this casual narcissism is an evolutionary trait that helps us avoid constantly slipping into a state of existential despair, and thus have a much better chance of survival in this very weird and unpredictable world. Unfortunately in many cases this "narcissism" goes beyond a manageable level and gets out of hand, resulting in pathological levels of crude selfishness and solipsism.
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Interesting!
That sparked a good list of items for me, thank you!
Another thing that fosters self-centeredness in America is the way our neighborhoods are laid out and what is viewed as a good place to raise children. I had a childhood that was The American Dream(tm) but it was pretty nightmarish. The isolation of a child in a suburban home, unable to go anywhere on their own, leads to a deep loneliness. I tried having imaginary friends (Maybe zonking out in front of a screen is more common these days). "Of course my life is about me. I'm the only one who talks to me after I get home from school and my parents turn on the TV." That kind of thing.
Re: Interesting!
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Explains my first marriage and what I grappled with for over twenty years before finally throwing in the towel.
Also nails what I need to do to unstick myself and get back to writing.
I don’t have anything else to contribute to the conversation. Just wanted to say thanks for writing the article. Very helpful!
—Eric
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