Don't say "I want to be more secure in myself", instead say "here's how my deeds stack up to an outside, measurable standard."
That sparked a good list of items for me, thank you!
Another thing that fosters self-centeredness in America is the way our neighborhoods are laid out and what is viewed as a good place to raise children. I had a childhood that was The American Dream(tm) but it was pretty nightmarish. The isolation of a child in a suburban home, unable to go anywhere on their own, leads to a deep loneliness. I tried having imaginary friends (Maybe zonking out in front of a screen is more common these days). "Of course my life is about me. I'm the only one who talks to me after I get home from school and my parents turn on the TV." That kind of thing.
And yeah, I agree - I think suburbs are one of the prime examples of "you don't actually want what you think you want." Big house? Great, now you can be anxious about property values and your mortgage! Big yard? Huzzah, you've all but eliminated casual interactions with your neighbors! Away from the crowding and bustle of the city? Welcome to a wasted ~1 hour a day of commuting! Since you're commuting, want some big, easy to drive in streets? Great, now it's not walkable and it's dangerous for your kids and pets to play outside!
Basically, I've had a pet theory since college that suburbs are anomie machines thanks to the over-abundance of negative space and near total lack of organic, unplanned coming-together.
And all that's not even touching the isolation of kids that you're talking about, which I agree with. I was pretty lucky to be able to ride my bike around with my friends, but I definitely see how different things are now.
And, err, I'm deeply worried about how the suburb we live in is going to affect our daughters :/
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Interesting!
That sparked a good list of items for me, thank you!
Another thing that fosters self-centeredness in America is the way our neighborhoods are laid out and what is viewed as a good place to raise children. I had a childhood that was The American Dream(tm) but it was pretty nightmarish. The isolation of a child in a suburban home, unable to go anywhere on their own, leads to a deep loneliness. I tried having imaginary friends (Maybe zonking out in front of a screen is more common these days). "Of course my life is about me. I'm the only one who talks to me after I get home from school and my parents turn on the TV." That kind of thing.
Re: Interesting!
And yeah, I agree - I think suburbs are one of the prime examples of "you don't actually want what you think you want." Big house? Great, now you can be anxious about property values and your mortgage! Big yard? Huzzah, you've all but eliminated casual interactions with your neighbors! Away from the crowding and bustle of the city? Welcome to a wasted ~1 hour a day of commuting! Since you're commuting, want some big, easy to drive in streets? Great, now it's not walkable and it's dangerous for your kids and pets to play outside!
Basically, I've had a pet theory since college that suburbs are anomie machines thanks to the over-abundance of negative space and near total lack of organic, unplanned coming-together.
And all that's not even touching the isolation of kids that you're talking about, which I agree with. I was pretty lucky to be able to ride my bike around with my friends, but I definitely see how different things are now.
And, err, I'm deeply worried about how the suburb we live in is going to affect our daughters :/